Very few songs really catch my heart with their lyrics on the first time. (My ears catch tunes more than words.)
This was one of them.
As a girl, I really like this song because it shows so many good things in the heart of one man, most of which I wished I could've received when I was growing up. (I ended up looking for in the guys I dated when I felt I wasn't receiving them from my father, as we weren't that close then.)
These things are not love itself, but are the outcome of love; for example - kindness, acceptance... being seen as someone beautiful and of worth IN SPITE OF the obvious flaws..
---
You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language, and shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective, though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests that this is just what happiness is
And what a beautiful mess this is
And it's like picking up trash in dresses
Well, it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve, you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear
'Cause here we are... here. we. are...
Although you are biased, I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick and probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy, depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging
And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like, picking up trash in dresses
Well, it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into bladesAnd kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt, oh dear
'Cause here we are, here we are
*Here we are*
We're still here
What a beautiful mess this is
It's like, taking a guess, when the only answer is yes
And through timeless words and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds not of this earthAnd tides they turn, and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But it's nice today... Oh, the wait was so worth it
-fern
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Saturday, December 26, 2009
The Community of Love
In 2007, I went on a journey to dedicate a year to do community work in developing nations. I've been to 5 nations altogether and one of it was a rural place near Tibet. It is very often said that we aim to go there to be a blessing and an encouragement to the community that we are reaching out to but we come back being inspired, touched and blessed by them instead. This cannot be any further from the truth. I came back having a new mindset of what the setting of love is like in a community and how powerful it can be.
I found myself sitted alone on a 3 hour bus journey back to the main town after spending a day with a tibetan family. The team of friends I was with somehow all managed to get a seat to each other but for some reason I happened to be seperated from them. I plugged in my earphones and logged on to some music. It was just too chilly to sleep although I was super wrapped up. I don't take colds very well. It was in July and it was approaching autumn from where I was. In the day it could reach 15 deg max. That fateful day, I reckon it was probably below 10 deg.
Anyways, one of the things I like to do is to observe my surroundings and people and what I saw, my mind began to process endless "mind talks" in my head. The bus I was in could carry about 20 people sitted down but you know in places like these, they will find a way to pack people and animals in! Yes! you read right - animals! I was in a company of dogs and chickens. That was really something! Haha.
So as the bus progressed, it began picking up many people and they were really squeezing into the bus. What amazed me was how people who were on the bus who were total strangers to each other talked to each other with such ease as if they were like a family member to each other. I saw a man on the bus carrying a basket full of cherries and he begun to open his basket and begin distributing it to everyone who was nearby to him which included me, a total stranger, what more a foreigner! I asked myself why am I a beneficiary of his cherries? I could only think that regardless if you were a foreigner or a local, you are treated the same way and you are offered the same thing. I wonder how are we treating our foreigners here? And I'm not talking about those foreigners from affluent nations, I'm talking about our friendly neighbourhood Bangladeshi workers who sweep our streets clean and build homes not meant for them but for us to live in.
I saw a boy who out of nowhere popped out beside me and i think the long winding mountainous journey must have made him motion sick and yup, he vomitted right at my feet. Did I mention what an experience it has been? I lead an exciting life. Then there was this woman who was sitted beside me, she began to comfort the kid as if she was his mother. I was pretty sure that she wasn't his mother because a while later, when the bus stopped, he just got up and went down with a guy (looks like his elder brother, I think) This woman who sat beside me continue to journey on right to the end with me, so surely she couldn't be his mother. However that is not the point. The point being she cared for him. Most of us if we were on the bus and if this thing had happened, we would all "siam" and leave a huge gap between us and the sick person. I know I have done that before.
Now there's more to this woman. She was my hero.. or heroine. You see there was this other man who was sitted in front of us and he decided that he was feeling hot and needed a nice cool breeze. So he helped himself by opening far and wide the window that was shared between us. Right... as if it couldn't get any colder than it was in the bus. So a sudden gush of wind came in attacked my whole body. I took out my gloves and started wearing them but no sooner did I had worn them, the cold proved to be too strong and my whole hands went numb. Ok... it was quite a scary thing for me back then. I was trying so hard to regain feelings and heat into my hands even with the gloves on.
So this woman, bless her soul, came to my rescue. She noticed that I was struggling and suffering and closed the window for me. The man didn't say anything. I turned to her and gave her my greatest and grateful smile ever. She then smiled back and decided to make conversation with me. In mandarin. Erm... yes I don't speak the language, but never underestimate the power of a pathetic attempt to communicate. All I could muster was thank you, how are you and I am from Singapore in mandarin. That was it. I think she understood.
What I took out from this experience was love. In that 3 hour bus ride, I saw love displayed and I experienced love. Love transcends all boundaries, all culture and all language. I saw that we have the capacity within us to love another in deed with the simplest of action. That day,I felt love through a simple offering of a cherry and I saw love in a kindness of a woman towards a child and myself. I left wondering, will I ever do that? Will I ever be able to go up to a stranger and offer let's say my oranges to them? Will I be able to comfort someone who I don't know who suddenly has taken ill? Will I take notice of another person's struggle and offer a little help? Perhaps it is a cultural issue but I am convince that if love transcends all things, it can be done here in our society and culture.
To love and not to hate
To heal and not to hurt
- Juz Leo
I found myself sitted alone on a 3 hour bus journey back to the main town after spending a day with a tibetan family. The team of friends I was with somehow all managed to get a seat to each other but for some reason I happened to be seperated from them. I plugged in my earphones and logged on to some music. It was just too chilly to sleep although I was super wrapped up. I don't take colds very well. It was in July and it was approaching autumn from where I was. In the day it could reach 15 deg max. That fateful day, I reckon it was probably below 10 deg.
Anyways, one of the things I like to do is to observe my surroundings and people and what I saw, my mind began to process endless "mind talks" in my head. The bus I was in could carry about 20 people sitted down but you know in places like these, they will find a way to pack people and animals in! Yes! you read right - animals! I was in a company of dogs and chickens. That was really something! Haha.
So as the bus progressed, it began picking up many people and they were really squeezing into the bus. What amazed me was how people who were on the bus who were total strangers to each other talked to each other with such ease as if they were like a family member to each other. I saw a man on the bus carrying a basket full of cherries and he begun to open his basket and begin distributing it to everyone who was nearby to him which included me, a total stranger, what more a foreigner! I asked myself why am I a beneficiary of his cherries? I could only think that regardless if you were a foreigner or a local, you are treated the same way and you are offered the same thing. I wonder how are we treating our foreigners here? And I'm not talking about those foreigners from affluent nations, I'm talking about our friendly neighbourhood Bangladeshi workers who sweep our streets clean and build homes not meant for them but for us to live in.
I saw a boy who out of nowhere popped out beside me and i think the long winding mountainous journey must have made him motion sick and yup, he vomitted right at my feet. Did I mention what an experience it has been? I lead an exciting life. Then there was this woman who was sitted beside me, she began to comfort the kid as if she was his mother. I was pretty sure that she wasn't his mother because a while later, when the bus stopped, he just got up and went down with a guy (looks like his elder brother, I think) This woman who sat beside me continue to journey on right to the end with me, so surely she couldn't be his mother. However that is not the point. The point being she cared for him. Most of us if we were on the bus and if this thing had happened, we would all "siam" and leave a huge gap between us and the sick person. I know I have done that before.
Now there's more to this woman. She was my hero.. or heroine. You see there was this other man who was sitted in front of us and he decided that he was feeling hot and needed a nice cool breeze. So he helped himself by opening far and wide the window that was shared between us. Right... as if it couldn't get any colder than it was in the bus. So a sudden gush of wind came in attacked my whole body. I took out my gloves and started wearing them but no sooner did I had worn them, the cold proved to be too strong and my whole hands went numb. Ok... it was quite a scary thing for me back then. I was trying so hard to regain feelings and heat into my hands even with the gloves on.
So this woman, bless her soul, came to my rescue. She noticed that I was struggling and suffering and closed the window for me. The man didn't say anything. I turned to her and gave her my greatest and grateful smile ever. She then smiled back and decided to make conversation with me. In mandarin. Erm... yes I don't speak the language, but never underestimate the power of a pathetic attempt to communicate. All I could muster was thank you, how are you and I am from Singapore in mandarin. That was it. I think she understood.
What I took out from this experience was love. In that 3 hour bus ride, I saw love displayed and I experienced love. Love transcends all boundaries, all culture and all language. I saw that we have the capacity within us to love another in deed with the simplest of action. That day,I felt love through a simple offering of a cherry and I saw love in a kindness of a woman towards a child and myself. I left wondering, will I ever do that? Will I ever be able to go up to a stranger and offer let's say my oranges to them? Will I be able to comfort someone who I don't know who suddenly has taken ill? Will I take notice of another person's struggle and offer a little help? Perhaps it is a cultural issue but I am convince that if love transcends all things, it can be done here in our society and culture.
To love and not to hate
To heal and not to hurt
- Juz Leo
Friday, December 25, 2009
Some Christmas Love
'Tis the season to be jolly!
As arguably the favourite season of most draw to a near, I find myself pondering the significance of this event. I'm not talking about the birth of Jesus Christ, what this day supposedly commemorates, I'm talking about Love.
Even the irreligious acknowledge the presence and power of love. Somehow, it seems, Christmas always signals a time to gather with friends and family, in the spirit of love.
Gary Chapman authored a book called "The Five Love Languages" (visit their official website - where you can take the quiz as well!), the basis of which comes from his noticing a pattern after several years of marriage counselling, that "everyone had a 'love language', a primary way of expressing and interpreting love". The 5 love languages (gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and physical touch) he mentions exudes in the Christmas season unlike any other season...
People are willing to splurge on gifts and there is almost a mad rush to buy or make gifts; no less than gifts in terms of sincerity, are cards and words of well wishes and blessings, heartfelt thanks and appreciation; the gathering of friends and family to spend quality time together is almost a given and much looked forward to; those that host parties show acts of service by opening their place; and finally, amongst the mingling and jingling, there is bound to be plenty of hugs and physical touch, this festive season.
In my opinion, Christmas signals a time to love and be loved. Love among friends and family exudes in an unspeakably joyous manner that this season is looked forward to right from the start of the year!
So, let your heart be touched by graciously receiving the love of your friends and family. Should it be that you do not find yourself in such a position, do not wallow in self-pity, but take this opportunity to give of your love. It truly is better to give than to receive; I myself spent two-thirds of my December pocket money on gifts for people whom I'm not expecting anything in return.
That's the highlight of my Christmas every year, it is more than a tradition, it is that I can give and receive love. :)
As arguably the favourite season of most draw to a near, I find myself pondering the significance of this event. I'm not talking about the birth of Jesus Christ, what this day supposedly commemorates, I'm talking about Love.
Even the irreligious acknowledge the presence and power of love. Somehow, it seems, Christmas always signals a time to gather with friends and family, in the spirit of love.
Gary Chapman authored a book called "The Five Love Languages" (visit their official website - where you can take the quiz as well!), the basis of which comes from his noticing a pattern after several years of marriage counselling, that "everyone had a 'love language', a primary way of expressing and interpreting love". The 5 love languages (gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and physical touch) he mentions exudes in the Christmas season unlike any other season...
People are willing to splurge on gifts and there is almost a mad rush to buy or make gifts; no less than gifts in terms of sincerity, are cards and words of well wishes and blessings, heartfelt thanks and appreciation; the gathering of friends and family to spend quality time together is almost a given and much looked forward to; those that host parties show acts of service by opening their place; and finally, amongst the mingling and jingling, there is bound to be plenty of hugs and physical touch, this festive season.
In my opinion, Christmas signals a time to love and be loved. Love among friends and family exudes in an unspeakably joyous manner that this season is looked forward to right from the start of the year!
So, let your heart be touched by graciously receiving the love of your friends and family. Should it be that you do not find yourself in such a position, do not wallow in self-pity, but take this opportunity to give of your love. It truly is better to give than to receive; I myself spent two-thirds of my December pocket money on gifts for people whom I'm not expecting anything in return.
That's the highlight of my Christmas every year, it is more than a tradition, it is that I can give and receive love. :)
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